Imagine this : One of your bridesmaids is one of your best friends whom you’ve known forever—and there’s no way you’re not having her stand by your side on your wedding day. Then again, there’s no way she has enough cash in her bank account to afford a 500GHC dress, let alone contribute to your bachelorette, pay for a makeup artist AND pay the hairstylist. Sound familiar? Let’s face it; you will have at least one broke bridesmaid on your hands.
If you’ve ever been asked to be a part of a friend’s wedding, you know it’s almost impossible to say “no” to a good friend whom you know would do the same thing for you. And while we don’t have any official stats to give, we can tell you the most likely solution for the friend without a big account is to borrow money to cover the costs. Ouch.
Moral of the story: Debt is not the answer. Here’s why you have to be honest about finances with your friends.
Understand that someone might have to say “no.”
It’s easy to get swept up in the moment of wanting to be part of someone’s day, but we would always recommend to wedding party members that you should never go into debt over a friend’s wedding (or your own wedding, for that matter).
If one of your friends really, really can’t afford their wedding party dues, telling you “no” will be an incredibly hard thing to do. Hopefully, your friends will be honest about their financial situations and the reasoning (if one of them needs to decline). Of course, feelings can get hurt, but your friend will likely brainstorm lots of ways to be there for you that doesn’t involve putting themselves in financial risk, like helping with some wedding to-dos and coordination on the day.
Help your besties out
Tell your girls (or guys) from the get-go that, generally speaking, the earlier you start planning your wedding-party-related expenses, the better. Once you figure out how much the wedding will cost each wedding party member overall, tell your crew as soon as possible so each of them can divide that number by how many months until the wedding day and set aside some cash each month. (In other words, if you know your bestie will be looking at a GHC 1000 bill and the wedding is in five months, encourage her to put aside GHC 200 each month so she’s not caught off-guard.)
In general, think about ways you can help gift whatever request you’re making of your bridesmaids. If you have your heart set on a GHC500 dress, but know it’ll be hard for one of your friends to pay for it, consider subsidizing the cost.
If your bachelorette destination involves travel, think about chipping in for hotel costs or renting a house for everyone. Encourage bridesmaids to plan ahead and book flights as soon as they know they’re coming. And here’s a pro tip: When they’re looking for deals online, make sure they clear their cache and browser history. (Once websites know you want to reserve something, they may show you higher rates.) If you have bridesmaids who have to fly in for the wedding, you might consider having the bachelorette party the same week as the wedding so they only have to fly once.
If you’re getting down because your wedding party members are being stubborn about things being too expensive for them, put yourself in their shoes. Often, your friends will be juggling a few weddings and those costs can add up quickly. On the day of, it can be a really nice treat to gift things like hair, makeup and even accessories for your bridesmaids or discreetly pay for your struggling friend.
Cost-Saving tips for bridesmaids
Get to the registry early. By checking it out ASAP, you’ll likely have more options for gifts in your range. Don’t be afraid to start conversations with the phrase, “I know we’re all on a budget…” This will help everyone get more comfortable talking about cost and making a decision that works for everyone, and you never know who else in the group chat is in the same situation as you!
Photos taken from @the.ido.crew